Wed 28 Oct 2009
Reinforcing Your Best Identities
Posted by cameron under ADHD, Info, Strategies, Uncategorized
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A good friend who is also a global creative is a small business owner running a service company out of his house. Ted is a one man operation so if he is not working he is generally not making money. He is also an amazingly generous individual – almost to a fault. If a friend makes a request, Ted will often drop what he is doing and help his friend in need. To exacerbate the situation Ted owns a pick-up so people are always asking him to haul and drop off stuff.
You can see how these two identites compete for Ted’s attention with ‘generous friend’ often winning out over ’successful business owner’. This is not an uncommon challenge for global creatives in general especially if they are master responders allowing others to dictate their daily intentions (more on the Responder here)
Covey and Allen refer to these as roles but I prefer identities. Identities speak more to who you are (father, husband, professional, provider) than a role that you play. I’ve been focusing on rediscovering and reinforcing identities with my clients recently. CG’s have a tendency to not only forget the name of the game in the middle of a good hunt (or distraction) but also forget their best identities.
A number of factors can contribute to this. A fallible memory and limited inhibition (impulsivity) certainly do not help. Throw emotion into the mix (would you rather help a buddy or bill a customer?) and you can see how we arrive here.
Best Identities also help to reinforce our level of confidence reminding us that indeed we are up to the task. They also give us a better option than less-than-stellar identities that can step in when our guard is down (Shiny Object Chaser, Day Dreamer, Walk-by completer)
Steps to Reinforcing Identites
- Name your best identities with appropriate qualifier (successful business owner, for example)
- List attitudes and actions that support this identity (confidence, vision, cultivating new clients/work, billing customers)
- List what happens if you do not regularly step into this identity (stagnating business, loss in visibility)
- List what happens if you do regularly step into this identity (regular completions that contribute to building business)
Posting your best identities prominently to remind the brain (R of REBEL) is a good idea.
Some of mine
- Add Value Coach
- Successful Business Owner
- Knowledgable Trainer
- Generous Collaborator
- Loving Husband and Father
- Olympic Biker (well not really, but it gets me on the bike!)
These are identities I strive for. I am not successful all the time but having these accessible gives me useful focal points.
Enjoy!
Cameron Gott PCC
ADHD Coach
